Registration of a Nation

I went and did my bureaucratic duty the other day and registered with the cops (their called the Public Security Bureau here). There's a funny quirk in China where if you're foreign (called laowai here), probably if you're Chinese too, the government must know where you spend the night at all times. If you're travelling, the hostel/hotel does this for you when you check in, they report to the cops that you, Mr Passport Number Blahblah stayed at X hotel for X nights. When you're a resident here, you have to take your passport down to the police station with your address, your landlords phone number and ID card number and get it all put on file. You are meant to do this within 24 hours of your arrival. Even if you spend one night away from home, for example at a friends place cos you're drunk and can't seem to get your keys in the lock in your door, you're meant to tell the cops about it.

This is a throwback to pre reform-era policy. There was a system called hukou whereby everyone had to be registered and an address accounted for. People could not move freely around the country as they pleased. If you had country hukou, you weren't allowed to move to the city without applying for city hukou. And vice versa, but who the fuck would want to move from a Chinese city into the country. It was easier to go from city to country than the other way around. As things opened up, country folk were allowed into the cities more and more as labour was required. They had to be able to prove they could support themselves though and had to bring their own rice ration with them in sacks. Wacky.

Anyway.

Couple of years ago some people from UTS forgot to register full-stop and they were dragged out of Chinese class by the cops one day a month after arriving, marched down to the police station and interrogated by a very yelly police official. They ended up having to spend a night in jail and having to write a self-confession. Self-confessions are another Commie throw-back. In a nut shell, you write that you're guilty of whatever you're accused of, that you're super sorry and that you've realised the error of your ways through the power of Marxism and you get off much much lighter.

I thought this time I should get right on being a good expatriate in China and marched myself down to the local Public Security Bureau, I guess it was 96 hours or more after I arrived, but damn y'know? I had shit to do.

I actually got into lots of trouble last year for not registering with the cops. I wanted to go travelling and registering with the cops involves them taking your passport for over 2 weeks at a time. I thought fuck it, I'll just do it when I get back, no biggie.

It was a biggie.

I got threatened with deportation, a fine of about $100AUD for every day I hadn't registered, which was lot and had to write up a self-confession of my own. I wish I still had it. I wrote that I was super-duper sorry and that I really love China and that it was all a big mistake and I'd never intentionally flaunt Chinese law. I thought about flicking some fake tear drops on the page just to kick things along a bit. No need, in the end they let me stay without a fine!
I was pretty lucky.

This time it all went without a hitch and becuase I was registering myself and not the school registering me, my passport was back in my hands in 15 minutes flat. I did feel like a bit of a doofus though cos I forgot my address. Do I lived in Entrance 12 Block 4 or Entrance 4 Block 13? The police lady tsked at me and called up my landlord and sorted it all out. Bless her.

A few days later, there was a knock on my door, a really loud official sounding knock. There was a lady in plain clothes holding a stack of papers and a young dude looking sheepish. She said something a gazillion miles an hour in a thick Beijing accent at me that went over my head so fast it hit the wall behind me with an audible thud. I said ".......um.......Wha?" And she said the same thing, louder, no slowing of pace, no clarity of diction. Obviously the reason I couldn't understand was because I was hard of hearing, not because I'm a fucking laowai and Chinese is a crazy hard language to learn at the best of times and when someone rocks up your doorstep out of the blue in a floral dress, it's obviously the filth checking up on you.

Turns out I just forgot that after you register, the cops come around and check that you didn't give a phony address and that your not housing 17 extra laowai in your apartment. She was actually pretty nice, but nosy as usual. I had a friend get visited by a policeman like this. He asked her very specifically if she had stayed in that house every night she'd been in China. She said "Yeah". The guy goes "Are you sure??" She goes "Yeah." He said "What about Valentines Day?"

Chinese people often regard you with either suspicion or a nosy curiosity concerning where and how you live. It's not unusual to have a Chinese person make up some reason to knock on your door and have a good ol' stickybeak 'round your apartment. I had a guy make up some bogus claim about my apartment leaking onto his below. He came in and investigated every room including my bedroom. Just wanted to see if I slept hanging upside down I guess.

At the entrance of my building are the Gestapo Grannies. It's their job as comminuty monitors to watch who comes in and out. I'm trying to get them to like me. I always give them my best shit-eating grin and sunniest Ni Hao! when I come and go. I'm only met with an interogating glare so far but I hope to upgrade to a steely squint in the near future. One day they will crack.

It's funny, I don't really notice the interrogation, surveillance and monitoring. You just get on and do it. It doesn't really take much to satisfy it and once it's done it's done. Being watched and looked at all the time is part of daily life here laowai or not, whether it's the octogenarian community monitors or the Public Security Bureau. Either way, it's easier to deal with if you just put your headphones in.